Thursday, April 19, 2018

David Coming Home

David has been away for boot camp since April 12th.  I am very proud of him what he has accomplished. Making the bed, ironing, listening to his superiors, etc. It has been very emotional for me. After the first phone call there isn't any communication for about three weeks. The letters are with held for three weeks.
Finally the first letter came I was thrilled.

Each phone call I recieved from David I missed. The first one I was still in the process of exams. I had to go to school for something. Of all things I left my cell phone at home.  The Navy decides when the recruits can call not the other way around. Each time he did call I was either at work or I left the phone somewhere.

After about a months I started to recieve phone calls from him.  He was upbeat. Said boot camp was tough and nerve wracking but afer the third week it was getting easier. My son has never been away from me. This I am sure was a different experience. He had to learn to depend on himself. And no excuses.

Then somehow the last week before Battlestations something happened.  David was delayed for PIR. David has never learned to stand up for himself.  Went to a counselor for some guidance.  They found out he had ADHD.  He never disclosed the " moment of truth" to them he had ADHD.  This was not the reason for disqualification from the navy. We later found out he could still be in the military for this. 

His recruiter told him not to say anything.  David did not know any better. He thought that the recruiter was wiser and knew what he was talking about. He was just excited to go in that he was not thinking of the consequences. Because eventually someone is going to find out your medical issues.are. 

Last year he was mopping around the house and I was concerned like any mother would be. So, I did not think about the consequences of taking him to a counselor.  The counselor is not a doctor. He only saw my son once. He is a counselor goes by the name of Mr. not Dr. in front of his name. He diagnosed him with depression and anxiety. \

David only saw this counselor once. You don't diagnose someone the first time with depression. I used to be a psychiatric nurse. I do know how that works. You can not diagnosis someone at the first visit. You have to see them a few times.  Besides Clinical depression is amount of time, not a short period.

Through all this David had PIR, which is a navy graduation. This means he graduated boot camp and is a navy sailor.  He made it this is so ridiculous. I can see when he is a recruit but he graduated.

He only did what the recruiter told him to do.  But the navy won't see it that way playing devils advocate. You knew it was lying at the moment of truth. You should have told them. David has always been in a sheltered life he did not think about it. He just thought I am going to make something of my life. I will do something that is important and serve my country.

This is a three fold situation that makes it complicated. He with held information about his ADHD. The depression and anxiety which is the truth he did not know about.  The recruiter never said have you seen a counselor for counseling. If he did I am sure David would have said something.  The navy said they could have waived the ADHD, but not all this.

The navy will also say that David has his own mind he knew he was lying. It is just tough. He is going to be separated from the navy. This is a tough break for him. He will not even be getting a honorable discharge. Within a year he can go back to the recruiter and re-enlist and a medical doctor can clear him.

I was hoping he could get a psychiatric evaluation could help him prove he does not have depression. But he is fighting the with holding information.  How do you fight the navy, when they always say no excuses. 

My son and I were in the same room when he said don't say anything. But it is our word against he's. If there was someone else in the room that heard that. That would help. But, what are they going to do. Slip him through by allowing him to stay because what the recruiter told him. 

I don't think that will happen. Do you know how many recruiters tell recruits that. If they allow my son to do this. How many others will claim the same thing.  I hate to say this is a no win situation.  Because he still with held information. It is just sad that he listened and believed the recruiter.

Now David realizes that all the recruiter wanted was his commission. Nothing else.

I went to the congressman of SC, Henry Brown. But I did not know the exact facts. When I went he wanted a brief statement. I gave him a 2 page detail. Because now I realize after exactly what I could have said. Giving alot of excuses.

I then went to the recruiter and they said there is nothing David can do. Except wait till he is discharged. The recruitment station seems not to know much about their recruits and the system. They are there to do a job and get recruits. That is it. Not if you ask a specific question. Right now I have a bad taste in my mouth about the navy.  The military is there to do a job. A darn good one.  But, sometimes I think they should weigh the circumstances, and investigate.

David is meeting a lawyer today.  The lawyer wants a statement. I am not sure if the navy lawyer is on David's side. You know when you read these things about navy. The navy is going to protect themselves.
The navy has a interest to protect the navy not my son.  But I hope I am wrong.

David I imagine is coming home most likely this weekend or next week sometime.  The good thing is which I think also. This is not a waste. David was able to mature and grow up. This kind of envoirment would have been good for him. Because people with ADHD do well with structure.

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